Chapter 12
"I lay on my straw, but I could not sleep. I thought of the occurrences of the
day. What chiefly struck me was the gentle manners of these people, and I
longed to join them, but dared not. I remembered too well the treatment I had
suffered the night before from the barbarous villagers, and resolved, whatever
course of conduct I might hereafter think it right to pursue, that for the
present I would remain quietly in my hovel, watching and endeavouring to
discover the motives which influenced their actions.
"The cottagers arose the next morning before the sun. The young woman arranged
the cottage and prepared the food, and the youth departed after the first
meal.
"This day was passed in the same routine as that which preceded it. The young
man was constantly employed out of doors, and the girl in various laborious
occupations within. The old man, whom I soon perceived to be blind, employed
his leisure hours on his instrument or in contemplation. Nothing could exceed
the love and respect which the younger cottagers exhibited towards their
venerable companion. They performed towards him every little office of
affection and duty with gentleness, and he rewarded them by his benevolent
smiles.
"They were not entirely happy. The young man and his companion often went
apart and appeared to weep. I saw no cause for their unhappiness, but I was
deeply affected by it. If such lovely creatures were miserable, it was less
strange that I, an imperfect and solitary being, should be wretched. Yet why
were these gentle beings unhappy? They possessed a delightful house (for such
it was in my eyes) and every luxury; they had a fire to warm them when chill
and delicious viands when hungry; they were dressed in excellent clothes; and,
still more, they enjoyed one another's company and speech, interchanging each
day looks of affection and kindness. What did their tears imply? Did they
really express pain? I was at first unable to solve these questions, but
perpetual attention and time explained to me many appearances which were at
first enigmatic.
"A considerable period elapsed before I discovered one of the causes of the
uneasiness of this amiable family: it was poverty, and they suffered that evil
in a very distressing degree. Their nourishment consisted entirely of the
vegetables of their garden and the milk of one cow, which gave very little
during the winter, when its masters could scarcely procure food to support it.
They often, I believe, suffered the pangs of hunger very poignantly,
especially the two younger cottagers, for several times they placed food
before the old man when they reserved none for themselves.
"This trait of kindness moved me sensibly. I had been accustomed, during the
night, to steal a part of their store for my own consumption, but when I found
that in doing this I inflicted pain on the cottagers, I abstained and
satisfied myself with berries, nuts, and roots which I gathered from a
neighbouring wood.
"I discovered also another means through which I was enabled to assist their
labours. I found that the youth spent a great part of each day in collecting
wood for the family fire, and during the night I often took his tools, the use
of which I quickly discovered, and brought home firing sufficient for the
consumption of several days.
"I remember, the first time that I did this, the young woman, when she opened
the door in the morning, appeared greatly astonished on seeing a great pile of
wood on the outside. She uttered some words in a loud voice, and the youth
joined her, who also expressed surprise. I observed, with pleasure, that he
did not go to the forest that day, but spent it in repairing the cottage and
cultivating the garden.
"By degrees I made a discovery of still greater moment. I found that these
people possessed a method of communicating their experience and feelings to
one another by articulate sounds. I perceived that the words they spoke
sometimes produced pleasure or pain, smiles or sadness, in the minds and
countenances of the hearers. This was indeed a godlike science, and I ardently
desired to become acquainted with it. But I was baffled in every attempt I
made for this purpose. Their pronunciation was quick, and the words they
uttered, not having any apparent connection with visible objects, I was unable
to discover any clue by which I could unravel the mystery of their reference.
By great application, however, and after having remained during the space of
several revolutions of the moon in my hovel, I discovered the names that were
given to some of the most familiar objects of discourse; I learned and applied
the words, fire, milk, bread, and wood. I learned also the names of the
cottagers themselves. The youth and his companion had each of them several
names, but the old man had only one, which was father. The girl was called
sister or Agatha, and the youth Felix, brother, or son. I cannot describe the
delight I felt when I learned the ideas appropriated to each of these sounds
and was able to pronounce them. I distinguished several other words without
being able as yet to understand or apply them, such as good, dearest, unhappy.
"I spent the winter in this manner. The gentle manners and beauty of the
cottagers greatly endeared them to me; when they were unhappy, I felt
depressed; when they rejoiced, I sympathised in their joys. I saw few human
beings besides them, and if any other happened to enter the cottage, their
harsh manners and rude gait only enhanced to me the superior accomplishments
of my friends. The old man, I could perceive, often endeavoured to encourage
his children, as sometimes I found that he called them, to cast off their
melancholy. He would talk in a cheerful accent, with an expression of goodness
that bestowed pleasure even upon me. Agatha listened with respect, her eyes
sometimes filled with tears, which she endeavoured to wipe away unperceived;
but I generally found that her countenance and tone were more cheerful after
having listened to the exhortations of her father. It was not thus with Felix.
He was always the saddest of the group, and even to my unpractised senses, he
appeared to have suffered more deeply than his friends. But if his countenance
was more sorrowful, his voice was more cheerful than that of his sister,
especially when he addressed the old man.
"I could mention innumerable instances which, although slight, marked the
dispositions of these amiable cottagers. In the midst of poverty and want,
Felix carried with pleasure to his sister the first little white flower that
peeped out from beneath the snowy ground. Early in the morning, before she had
risen, he cleared away the snow that obstructed her path to the milk-house,
drew water from the well, and brought the wood from the outhouse, where, to
his perpetual astonishment, he found his store always replenished by an
invisible hand. In the day, I believe, he worked sometimes for a neighbouring
farmer, because he often went forth and did not return until dinner, yet
brought no wood with him. At other times he worked in the garden, but as there
was little to do in the frosty season, he read to the old man and Agatha.
"This reading had puzzled me extremely at first, but by degrees I discovered
that he uttered many of the same sounds when he read as when he talked. I
conjectured, therefore, that he found on the paper signs for speech which he
understood, and I ardently longed to comprehend these also; but how was that
possible when I did not even understand the sounds for which they stood as
signs? I improved, however, sensibly in this science, but not sufficiently to
follow up any kind of conversation, although I applied my whole mind to the
endeavour, for I easily perceived that, although I eagerly longed to discover
myself to the cottagers, I ought not to make the attempt until I had first
become master of their language, which knowledge might enable me to make them
overlook the deformity of my figure, for with this also the contrast
perpetually presented to my eyes had made me acquainted.
"I had admired the perfect forms of my cottagers--their grace, beauty, and
delicate complexions; but how was I terrified when I viewed myself in a
transparent pool! At first I started back, unable to believe that it was
indeed I who was reflected in the mirror; and when I became fully convinced
that I was in reality the monster that I am, I was filled with the bitterest
sensations of despondence and mortification. Alas! I did not yet entirely know
the fatal effects of this miserable deformity.
"As the sun became warmer and the light of day longer, the snow vanished, and
I beheld the bare trees and the black earth. From this time Felix was more
employed, and the heart-moving indications of impending famine disappeared.
Their food, as I afterwards found, was coarse, but it was wholesome; and they
procured a sufficiency of it. Several new kinds of plants sprang up in the
garden, which they dressed; and these signs of comfort increased daily as the
season advanced.
"The old man, leaning on his son, walked each day at noon, when it did not
rain, as I found it was called when the heavens poured forth its waters. This
frequently took place, but a high wind quickly dried the earth, and the season
became far more pleasant than it had been.
"My mode of life in my hovel was uniform. During the morning I attended the
motions of the cottagers, and when they were dispersed in various occupations,
I slept; the remainder of the day was spent in observing my friends. When they
had retired to rest, if there was any moon or the night was star-light, I went
into the woods and collected my own food and fuel for the cottage. When I
returned, as often as it was necessary, I cleared their path from the snow and
performed those offices that I had seen done by Felix. I afterwards found that
these labours, performed by an invisible hand, greatly astonished them; and
once or twice I heard them, on these occasions, utter the words good spirit,
wonderful; but I did not then understand the signification of these terms.
"My thoughts now became more active, and I longed to discover the motives and
feelings of these lovely creatures; I was inquisitive to know why Felix
appeared so miserable and Agatha so sad. I thought (foolish wretch!) that it
might be in my power to restore happiness to these deserving people. When I
slept or was absent, the forms of the venerable blind father, the gentle
Agatha, and the excellent Felix flitted before me. I looked upon them as
superior beings who would be the arbiters of my future destiny. I formed in my
imagination a thousand pictures of presenting myself to them, and their
reception of me. I imagined that they would be disgusted, until, by my gentle
demeanour and conciliating words, I should first win their favour and
afterwards their love.
"These thoughts exhilarated me and led me to apply with fresh ardour to the
acquiring the art of language. My organs were indeed harsh, but supple; and
although my voice was very unlike the soft music of their tones, yet I
pronounced such words as I understood with tolerable ease. It was as the ass
and the lap-dog; yet surely the gentle ass whose intentions were affectionate,
although his manners were rude, deserved better treatment than blows and
execration.
"The pleasant showers and genial warmth of spring greatly altered the aspect
of the earth. Men who before this change seemed to have been hid in caves
dispersed themselves and were employed in various arts of cultivation. The
birds sang in more cheerful notes, and the leaves began to bud forth on the
trees. Happy, happy earth! Fit habitation for gods, which, so short a time
before, was bleak, damp, and unwholesome. My spirits were elevated by the
enchanting appearance of nature; the past was blotted from my memory, the
present was tranquil, and the future gilded by bright rays of hope and
anticipations of joy."